Partners Shouldn't Be Shot with Water Guns
My partner and I have three cats. Bella is my cat and has been with me her entire life; she can do no wrong in my eyes. Dempsey (named after the USMNT midfielder), who is a pain in the neck, is littermates with Tuukka (named after the Bruins goaltender) who is the Goldilocks – she can be very sweet but also sour as a lemon.
Whenever we feel stressed, Dempsey decides to jump on the countertop. We have ordered several water guns to try and dissuade him, but it takes a multitude of well-placed shots to get him to jump off.
After we are tired, and it is his third or fourth time doing this, we will shut him in the bathroom (which he actually loves). We don’t do this because we think he can teach him a lesson, but we do it because we don’t want to deal with him anymore.
When you and your partner fight, and you raise your voice, the question is this: Do you want your partner to change her behavior so it is not hurtful to you, or do you want to yell at him?
One of these methods is to serve your own needs; your needs to vent your frustration. The other method is to be constructive and to grow your relationship.
People are not cats; we do not respond to being shot with water guns. We can communicate with spoken language. When you are frustrated, we need to let our partners know so that our relationships can be stronger. And more importantly, when we are happy, we need to let our partners know.
Disclaimer: Nothing in this post is intended as legal advice or to create an attorney-client relationship. If you have any legal concerns, please contact an attorney qualified to practice law in your state or district.